just some stuff

I've been going to teacher seminars in Chestnut Hill all week. I've had a less than stellar commute pretty much every day. Monday it rained and the normally 40 minute ride took me an hour and a half. Tuesday I left early, didn't hit any traffic, and got there early. Wednesday... grrr... every road known to man was closed or flooded. It took me 2 hours to get to the college, where I found out the seminar was cancelled. Then it took me 2 hours to get home. I spent 4 hours in the car and didn't go anywhere. Today traffic was good... but I had a coffee mishap. I went to Dunkin Donuts, ordered my coffee black w/cream & sugar on the side. I got to the turnpike and realized that he didn't give me a stirrer for my coffee. DAMNIT. So I MacGyvered that shit. I found an old pen, took out the ink tube, reassembled it, and used it to stir my coffee. Mmmm.... caffeine...

Anyway, the seminars are boring as hell. I could teach these things. I actually should teach them. It probably pays damn well. And it'd be better than sitting there, listening to someone talk about stuff I already do in my classroom.

So Erin and Mike are now in Vegas... tomorrow they will be married! The bride-to-be has been sending me the funniest text messages since she landed in Vegas. Right now, she is drunk. Lucky bitch. Drunk in Vegas, and getting married to boot. I should un-friend her for awhile. Find some pathetic single friends, so I don't feel so bad about myself. Kidding, of course.

Tonight was my last night of class for Summer I semester. Summer II starts Monday, which sucks. Anyway, a bunch of us from class went to dinner at Chickie's and Pete's. Had a few beers, some chicken fingers, and crab fries. Mmmm... crab fries... (I'm starting to sound like Homer Simpson.)

I guess I should go to sleep. I don't feel like sleeping yet, but I need to be up early tomorrow.

Thank you for joining me in my randomness.

tiaras, spelunking , and the world's best pizza

Don't let the title confuse you. All will be revealed in this quite comprehensive post about Erin's Bachelorette Extravaganza.

The day began around 3-ish, when I collected Erin and her belongings. We made a brief pit-stop at Dunkin Donuts, to get an energy boost in the form of smoothie (for me) and black iced coffee (for Erin). We picked up Gina and then began our journey downtown, enjoying loud party tunes all the way.

We found a not-too-seedy parking lot, where we were informed that we needed to be back "before," or else we might have to pay extra. I tried to pin the man down on a specific time, but he was evasive. "Just be back here before," he said. "Man... You are three good looking ladies. Don't get to see ladies like you every day. They usually stick me in the ghetto." Um... okay, buddy... just give me my ticket and we'll be on our way. "You ladies going to party?" We nod. "I get off work at 6:30!" He laughs. "Okay, remember, just be back before."

And off we go to find our hotel. Upon our arrival, we see a sign saying we need to register in the bar. Okie dokie. So we go in and talk to the (very hot) Irish bartender , who showed us to our room, called The Betsy Ross Room. It was an experience. We opened the door and saw a table and two chairs. And another door. We opened that door and saw a tiny bathroom. And another door. We opened that door and saw a very small bedroom, with ONE bed and a small dresser. And another door. We opened that door and saw the hallway. Interesting.

We assessed the situation. Clearly, there was only one thing to do: drink. We went to the hotel bar and ordered some drinks. Erin informed us that the hotel advertised fresh flowers in every room, internet access and a piano in the hotel bar. We had a few good laughs about the quality of our accommodations. We agreed that Betsy Ross most likely drank herself to death in our room (thus accounting for the smell), and that her ghost haunts the hotel. Furthermore, in the evenings, Francis Scott Key descends into the bar from on high, playing a piano, to perform a stunning duet with Miss Betsy.

The rest of our party (Sam, MK and Tina) eventually met us at the hotel and after a wardrobe change (and a discussion about cleavage), we headed out to dinner at Rotten Ralph's (good food, bad name). From there, we went to the infamous Cave, where we met Karen and Heather. Let me say that I went into the Cave with the preconceived notion that strip clubs are skanky, nasty places with skanky nasty people (basing this opinion on the female strip club I've been to). I was SO wrong. The Cave was AWESOME. Okay, getting ahead of myself. When we got settled, Sam distributed the goody bags that we had assembled earlier in the week. We each got a cute little bag shaped like a lace trimmed teddy filled with condoms, lube, glow-in-the-dark bracelets, a candy necklace, an x-rated fortune cookie, a penis straw and a tiara! Erin got a special floofy, feathery crown and the rest of us got Disney princess tiaras. Woo-hoo!

And then the party began. This place is filled with HOT guys (most are probably gay, but whatever) whose job is to look good and flirt with the ladies. (I want to hire them to walk around my house and do that...) And flirt they did. Within five minutes of being there, one guy came over to me, put one arm around me, put a hand on my thigh and started talking in my ear. So... yeah ... um... I didnt really hear anything he said for the first minute or two. Ahem. But then I focused and realized that he wanted to steal Erin to demonstrate a body shot onstage. Tee hee. After that, it was all a blur of dancing and drinking champagne and watching the hot dancing guys (with damn impressive upside down moves ) and doing shots and eating penis cakes and watching Erin get a lap dance and the grabbing of various body parts. Much fun was had by all.

When the show was over, we went to the attached dance club, which sucked. It wasnt very crowded, there weren't many guys (of course, since it was a male strip club), and they had a very strict liquor policy. Heather and I had to stay behind a gate around the bar with our drinks. We werent allowed on or near the dance floor. Stupid. So I didn't get to dance at all, which pissed me off. Then we lost Gina briefly, and when we found her, everyone was ready to leave. We headed back to the hotel, making a pit stop at Soho's, which Tina claimed had the world's best pizza. And she was right. It was incredibly tasty. I highly recommend it... but not after several glasses of champagne and many fruity shots.

Then back to the hotel where 5 of us planned to sleep. Considering how drunk we were, the assignment of sleeping arrangements went smoothly. We stripped the comforter and fuzzy blanket off the bed and found an extra pillow in the closet. Gina and Karen slept on the floor in the sitting room, Heather took the floor in the bedroom, and Erin and I shared the bed (but she stole the sheet and most of the pillow). It was, as Heather put it, "hot as balls" in the room, seeing as how there was no a/c, no fan, and a sign on the window that said "Do not open."

But somehow we managed to sleep. Woke up around 8, left at around 10. And the rest of my day was spent nursing a hangover on the couch.

So there you have it. A very detailed look inside Erin's last night of freedom. Okay... who's getting married next? We need another trip to the Cave!!!

so tired. my weekend - the random post.

Last night we went to the Cave. Much alcohol was consumed. Little sleep was had. I'll post more about all that later. I just wanted to get it out there now, so you know what you're dealing with.

I'm tired 'cause we were out 'n' about 'til the wee hours o' the mornin'. I tried to put as many apostrophes in that sentence as was humanly possible. I like the way it looks. I think I'd like the way it sounds, too, if I was crazy enough to read it out loud.
Really we were only out until around midnight. We're old, apparently, and that's when the fun train stops running for geezers like us. Especially when the alcohol started flowing before dinner. We were in bed (or on floor) by 1:30. I couldn't sleep. Everytime I looked at the clock, it was a half an hour later than the last time I looked.
I must've eventually dozed off, because I dreamed about text messages. Indeed. I received a text message from a guy named Josh. I don't know anyone named Josh. But I did in the dream, I think. I didn't know who he was when I got the message, but then he was standing next to me reading the texts over my shoulder. Yeah, it doesn't make sense to me, either. I guess that's what champagne and pizza does to your brain.

I'm camped out on the couch now... wrapped in a blanket, watching bad TV. There's a "Three's Company" marathon on TV Land. It's bad. It's so bad, it's almost good. But not quite.

I think it's naptime again.

a night at the (movie) theater

Tonight, I went to see The Da Vinci Code with my parents. We went to the Franklin Mills Mall theater, hoping it wouldn't be too crowded at 7 PM on a Sunday night. We were right - there were only about 25 people in our theater. I sat back and settled in with my popcorn, preparing myself for the quality cinematic experience that only Franklin Mills can offer.

*At this point, let me state for the record that not a single part of this story has been fabricated.*

Just as the opening credits were rolling, a group of people walked in. Loudly. About three or four women (one of whom was carrying a baby who couldn't have been more than a month old), two guys, and a very young child (about 5 or 6 years old). They paraded to the back of the theater and proceeded to have a very loud discussion about who would sit where. There was much laughing and moving around during the first few minutes of the movie. Then, all was well. For about ten minutes. That's when Paul Bettany (Silas the monk) appeared on screen bare-ass naked and began beating himself bloody. Not at all appropriate for the 5-year-old.

These people didn't appear to have a clue what the movie was about, because they kept asking (very loud) questions. During the dialogue. Fortunately, that portion of the movie was mostly subtitled, so I was able to read what I couldn't hear. Several other audience members shushed the group, which only made it more difficult to hear the movie.

Then, three giggling women from their group left, running down the aisle stairs, to get snacks. When they came back in, one of them took a picture of the others (with flash) before they ran back up the steps. They were clearly unable to locate the remaining members of their party, because they kept calling to them, "Yo, where you at?"

After about fifteen more minutes of obnoxious interruptions (questions, comments, jokes, and a cell phone that rang and was answered), most of their party left the theater. For good, so it seemed. Only two people stayed behind. We were able to enjoy the remainder of the movie in relative peace and quiet.

And then... just when we thought we were safe... the people who left the theater came back in. Five minutes before the movie ended. This none-too-quiet conversation ensued:

"What's going on? What happened?"

"How was the other movie?"

"Good. This is still on? What's he doing? What's going on here?"

One girl began to mimic Audrey Tatou's lines, French accent and all. Much laughter from her friends.

Ending credits roll.

Laughter. "Oh look, we came back just in time!" More laughter.

You're thinking the story ends here. You're wrong. We left the theater, and happened to be walking behind this group out of the theater. They stopped not once, but twice, to take pictures of each other.

I am NEVER going back to Franklin Mills movie theater again.

lack of sleep - not a good thing...

I was all set to get on here and blog about my weekend, and now I'm too tired to do it. Blah. But I'm gonna do it anyway, because I'm too bored to go to bed. I think I'm overtired. Let's go back and start at the beginning...

Friday night we had a Girls Only Slumber Party at Karen's apartment. Six girls, lots of booze, several chick flicks, a few issues of Cosmo, and a ton of healthy snacks (veggies, fruit, other assorted fat-free and low-fat snacking options). I think the idea was female-bonding and reliving the fun of our girlhood slumber parties. What happened instead? We got trashed, gossiped, made drunk phone calls, and passed out sometime around 2:30 AM. It was a hell of a lot of fun, though. Some things I remember from the evening's festivities: Karen standing on the chair in her kitchen while we were doing shots, everyone sampling Erin's concoction (Pink Bichon!), me and Heather bonding on the front steps, Jeanette's pool cue, Sam keeping a list of ridiculous drunk things we said, me shushing everyone during Christian Slater's "abyss" line in "Heathers," Rich fighting to get the futon open when he came to pick up Heather, me discovering Erin asleep in the bathtub at 6:30 in the morning (apparently I was snoring too loud... damn allergies...). As always, good times were had by all.

I got home at around noon, made an Eggbeater sandwich, ate it, and then fell asleep on the recliner for a few hours. Woke up, discovered that "Bring It On" was on USA, got a phone call from drunk Erin (who informed me that I must leave all my evenings free for her) and then finally felt awake enough to get ready to go to dinner with my friend (the bride-to-be mentioned in my blogs about a month ago).

Dinner was fun. We went to Great American (where else would I go?), chatted about the wedding, caught up on other stuff. And we saw Tim and Michael there (I always see someone I know at GA...). Before I went to dinner, I told my mother that I knew I'd be fielding the two questions I dread more than any others: "Have you met anyone?" (which is girl-speak for "Have you met anyone you'd be interested in dating?") and "So, what are you going to do after you graduate?" Bride-to-be asked me both before we even got to the restaurant. My answers? "No," and "I don't know yet." I didn't bother elaborating. They're loaded questions with complicated answers.

Well, I think that's all I have the energy for tonight. I guess I should eventually get some sleep.