giving up the dream

I was just on the phone with my friend, and we got to talking about our lives and our futures and stuff like that. It got me thinking about where I am right now. When I was in high school and college, I had this image of how things would pan out for me. I'd graduate college, meet Mr. Right, fall in love, get married, buy a house, have kids. I'd be able to teach and raise my kids, maybe go to grad school if I felt like it. And the reality? I'm 28, single, teaching Catholic school, going to grad school, living with my parents.

Don't get me wrong. It's not a bad life at all. I have great friends, I love my job dearly, I'm kicking ass in grad school, and my family is awesome. I have my health, a car, a semi-decent social life. But it's not what I had planned.

I have friends who are engaged, married, have two or three kids. I have friends who are divorced, getting married for the second time. Almost all of my friends live in their own houses, condos or apartments. And me? I'm not dating right now. I've never had a boyfriend that I would consider marrying. I don't make enough money to move out of my parents' house.

I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that my life is not going to turn out the way I expected. But it's kinda hard to give up the dream, you know? It's hard to accept that I'm probably not going to be married before I turn 30. That after I get my masters, I'm going to have to quit the job I love because it doesn't pay me enough money to live on. That I'll most likely be buying my first house for myself, and not for a family. I'm certainly not the only one out there living like this. And like I said, there's nothing wrong it. But it's so not what I had planned.