Spooky.

Thoughts and Observations on Halloween 2008...

• Any girl prancing around in a blond wig and glittery dress was presumably attempting to be Hannah Montana.
• Boys' costumes haven't changed much in the past 5 years: Spiderman, Batman, or some version of the Scream mask with all black clothes.
• Older boys don't bother with costumes. They wear jeans and a sweatshirt, carry a pillowcase (or open backpack) and show up on your doorstep for free handouts. Sometimes there's a mask, but it's usually on top of their head, rather than covering their face. I think this is so they can get better view of the plethora of "sexy" costumes their female counterparts are wearing.
• Which brings me to this... There were more 12 year old girls with fishnets and mini-skirts than I cared to see.
• While we're on that... Joe and I had an extensive phone conversation about those particular costume pieces (while I was giving out candy, no less... lol). We decided that pretty much anything can be added to fishnets and a miniskirt to make a "costume." For example: add wings, and you have a fairy. Big hoop earrings and a bandana? A pirate! Wear horns and carry a pitchfork... devil! A tail and ears? Bunny! Doesn't take much imagination to create a costume out of that. (I've neglected to mention that my costume from last year was exactly that... fishnets and a miniskirt. Paired with a red hooded cape and a basket to become Red Riding Hood. Sigh. I've become One of Them.) But seriously... little girls and fishnets are a big no-no. That's what leads to 17 year olds with toddlers.
• Speaking of mommies... it seems to be perfectly acceptable for a mommy to parade around the neighborhood with her itsy-bitsy little bundle of joy (clad in a cutesy-wutesy little costume) and hold out a treat bag. I'm talking 5 month old babies here. Pre-teeth. Who do these moms think they're fooling? I know damn well who's eating that candy. (By the way, my mom's rule of thumb is that the babies get Dum-Dum lollipops.)
• Someone needs to teach kids some Halloween etiquette. Let's start with this: "Trick or treat!" It's simple. Three words. Some kids just walked right up to me, thrust their bag in my face and waited. No eye contact, no smile. And certainly no "Thank you," after the candy was dropped in the bag. And kids? When someone says, "Happy Halloween," it wouldn't kill you to respond.
• Another word about Halloween etiquette. When someone gives you a piece of candy, it's not polite to respond with, "Is that it?" or "Can I have the other kind instead?" And it's NEVER acceptable to try to score an extra piece of candy by lying and saying your brother is in the hospital.
• A word about older trick-or-treaters in general: once you reach high school, STOP. Seriously. You're too old to dress up and collect candy from your neighbors. Go to Halloween parties instead. I actually had three or four adults (not in costume) come up to my door with treat bags. They were walking with a group of children, so I guess they thought they deserved candy, too.

It's no wonder I felt the need to hit the bar after the crowd died down. Screw the Halloween candy... I was ready for beer and wings!