Summer on the brain.

One week ago, the weather was GORGEOUS. It was sunny and 70 degrees. I wore a short sleeved blouse to work with a light jacket. I drove with my windows down and the radio volume up.

It made me want summer.

So naturally, that got me to thinking about vacation... and this past week, I've had traveling on the brain. I pulled out my travel scrapbooks and looked at pictures from London and Paris and Australia. I flipped through the pages of my Starr Tours catalog to see if there were any good trips coming up. I even put up a Facebook poll asking for vacation suggestions.

It's been 4 years since I went on my last BIG vacation - and by big, I mean "leaving the country for 3 weeks" big. For the past few years, I've spent my summers looking for a new job, working summer school, and taking little day trips or weekend trips (mostly to the beach)... but no REAL vacations. I'm ready for another big adventure.

Last summer, I really wanted to go on vacation, but I didn't have anyone to go with. (Sidenote: when your friends get married and have kids, they take family vacations to Disneyworld, and there are no more drunken weekends in Wildwood. Sigh.) I decided to carpe my diem and go on a solo vacation for the first time. I went to a lovely little lake town an hour away (a suggestion from a co-worker), and I stayed in a bed & breakfast (something I've always wanted to do).

On the surface, it was the perfect vacation. The B&B was awesome: comfy room, delicious breakfasts, wraparound porch with a view of the beach. The houses in the town were amazing, the beach was clean, and the lake in the center of town was scenic. But after the first day, I was itching for company. I'm a social creature. I can go shopping alone or go to the movies alone, but going on vacation alone? I'm glad I did it once, but now I know that it's not for me.

So now it's almost March, and I'm planning ahead. I really want to travel this summer, but I really don't want to travel alone. I have to start thinking about my options, put some money aside, and possibly find someone to travel with. I've got time, but I definitely don't want to leave it until the last minute.

Half-hearted.

It's Valentine's Day.

A few days ago I wrote about how I was done being bitter and I wanted to find a way to make this day special, so that it would lose its association with coupley things. Well as it turns out, it wasn't a very special day. In fact, it was pretty much a normal Monday. I worked, I made dinner, I did laundry, I read a few chapters of a book. I guess you could say it's my fault for not making any extra effort, but in the end I decided it really doesn't make a difference.

Anyway, I made it through the day without feeling bitter at all. (Although I did feel slightly jealous of the people who posted on Facebook or texted me pics of the flowers from their boyfriends/husbands. I love flowers, damnit.)

And just to prove that I'm not a complete Scrooge (or whoever the Valentine's Day equivalent is), here are some very Valentine-y, Hallmark-y things I did to celebrate the day:

• I sent Valentine's Day cards to my parents, my godson, and my best friend's sons.
• I wore my red and pink socks with hearts on them.
• I gave heart stickers to the kindergarteners I worked with today.
• I made Valentine treat bags for my CCD students.
• I posted a lovely video on Facebook of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers dancing to Cole Porter's "Night and Day."

For all intents and purposes, I embraced the "true meaning" of Valentine's Day. But I'll be the first to admit that my heart wasn't really in it. (No pun intended... ha!)

I think it'll take some time before I can enjoy this holiday as a single person. Although I'm not sure I'd enjoy it any more as part of a couple, either... because quite honestly, February 14th isn't more special or romantic than March 12th or August 28th. And don't you think getting flowers on a random Tuesday is way more romantic than getting them on Valentine's Day?

Oh well... there's always next year :)

That thing you do.

I had a Facebook "conversation" today about my how I like things organized a certain way. My friend jokingly referred to me as OCD. That's not the case, but I think it's true that we all have our own obsessions, rituals, habits and idiosyncracies that other people view as bizarre. Here are a few of mine:

When I get a new box of Crayola crayons, I dump the crayons out and put them back in "color order." (The order is loosely based on ROYGBIV... some colors are harder to classify, but I put them where I think they fit best.)

When I take eggs out of the carton, I always alternate which side I take from. Sounds wacky, I know. But I like balance and symmetry. If all the eggs are on one side of the carton, then it's unbalanced and lopsided.

All of my DVDs are arranged alphabetically. Christmas DVDs and box sets are separated from the regular movies. Box sets are in chronological order. Books are arranged alphabetically by author's last name (same as the library, lol). If I have more than one book by an author, then they are alphabetical by title... unless they're part of a series, in which case they are in number order.

My digital pictures are stored on the computer. I have categories for different things, but most of my pics are arranged in folders by year. So for example, I have a folder called 2010. In that folder are folders for every event/occasion, and they are named date first, then description (07-10 Barbecue, 12-10 Christmas).

I pack 2 napkins in my lunchbag every day. I have no idea when that habit started.

I won't put a container or jar in the recycling bin unless I've rinsed it out first. Partly because of bugs, partly because of smell... but mostly because I don't like when things drip all over the bin and/or floor.

I'm usually the last person to go to bed in the apartment... before I leave the living room, I straighten the cushions, put the throw pillows back where they belong, and fold the blankets. I don't know why. It's not like anyone is going to see the apartment after I go to bed.

There are more... but this is just a nice little sample of what goes on in my head. I know you have a little bit of crazy hiding somewhere. Go share it in the comments. It'll make me feel less neurotic :)

Valentine's Day

Years ago, I wrote a bitter blog post about Valentine's Day being a Hallmark holiday and a waste of time and money. It became my tradition to repost it every year.

It's come to my attention that Valentine's Day is right around the corner. It kind of crept up on me... but thanks to the media, it's hard to ignore any holiday anymore. (President's Day mattress sale! Columbus Day car sale! Arbor Day sofa sale!) I realized that I haven't given any thought to posting the annual Valentine's Day rant. And guess what? I don't want to.

I know there are people who bitch about Valentine's Day being a day for couples... and if you're single, like me, then it's just another painful reminder that no one loves me. (I know... I know... plenty of people love me. But no one LOVES me.) I know I won't be getting flowers or jewelry or fancy dinners. But I never get those things anyway, so why should February 14th be singled out as an evil day?

I'm done being bitter. It doesn't do anything for me. When I'm bitter, I don't smile. I don't feel good about myself. I don't feel happy for other people. It's just destructive, and I don't want to be that person. I want to embrace my inner Pollyanna, damnit! (Please tell me you know who Pollyanna is... or I'll feel REALLY old.)

When I started my confidence project last month, I wrote about how it's possible to fool yourself into confidence by pretending to be confident. So now I'm going to use that same principle for Valentine's Day. I'm going to find a way to make this holiday lose its stigma. I haven't figured out how yet... but I'll come up with something. It will be a new tradition - having fun on Valentine's Day. Imagine that.

After all, being single isn't the worst thing in the world.

(But it's not the best, either.)

Hibernation

It's February and I'm still blogging! Wow! Sometimes I amaze myself.

Philadelphia has been a mess of snow, ice, slush and cold puddles for the past 2 weeks. Driving is a bitch, finding a parking spot is even worse. It's just easier to stay home and wait for spring.

Today one of my co-workers told me that she feels like she's been hibernating. I totally know the feeling. She said all she wants to do lately is sleep and eat... she's perfectly happy to be curled up on the couch watching TV.

I had 4 1/2 days off from work thanks to snow and the weekend... after the first full day, I started to get a little antsy. I've been fluctuating between wanting to veg out and wanting to be super active. My days off went something like this: sleep late... eat big breakfast... dig out car... shovel & salt... sit around watch TV and snack... get super ambitious and clean my room... stay up too late watching episodes of "Big Love" on DVD... walk 4.5 miles using wii game... take nap... go to Blackthorn concert to drink and dance my ass off for 3 hours... lay around my parents house being lazy with the dog... get ridiculously organized and pack all necessary items for work week.

Total roller coaster. It was nice to have the days off, but I'm really glad to be back on schedule. I function better when I'm on a normal schedule.

By the way, the groundhog didn't see his shadow today... so maybe we'll get an early spring after all. That sounds awesome right about now :)