The Fair Maidens’ Lament

Gather ye ’round as I tell the tale,
Of neighbors and noises,
Bed springs and toddlers,
A deliquent son now sprung from jail.

Gather ye quick, lest ye not be warned,
Of the peace and quiet that now is mourned.

For once there lived two maidens fair,
Who sought a living space to share.

An apartment was found, in a quiet ’hood,
The price was right, the size was good,

And all was well for quite a while,
They cooked and cleaned and furnished with style.

All was well, until the day
The neighbor’s grandkids came to stay.

Two young urchins, fond of games,
"No!" and "Stop That!" were their names.

From down below, it’s quite easy to hear,
Each whine and shriek doth pierce the ear.

The little girl wails and cries in woe,
In response, her grandmother screams out, "No!"

The boy makes a racket with toy and with ball,
"Stop that!" is grandmother’s shrill pleading call.

But alas, our tale has just begun,
For next we have... the neighbor’s son.

Released from prison quite recently,
Residing with mother indefinitely.

A man best described as "ghetto trash,"
Smoking out the window, flicking ash.

Resplendently garbed in his best wife beater,
His sexcapades heard through the vents of the heater.

Each moan, each sigh, each squeak, each gasp,
Each thump of the headboard his girlfriend doth grasp.

There seems no end to the fair maidens’ strife,
For they seek but to lead a most peaceful life.

So they grit their teeth and they roll their eyes,
Each time they hear the urchins’ cries.

They plug their ears and try to ignore
When grandmother yells at the urchins more.

And they raise the volume of their TV,
When the springs of the bed creak rhythmically.

Will the maidens ever find their peace?
Will the landlord extend the grandmother’s lease?

For now, the fair maidens must deal with their fate,
They’ve signed a year’s lease, so now it’s too late.

So they smile upon passing a neighbor in the hall...
And they keep their fridge stocked with some good alcohol.