Dree and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

(With apologies to Judith Viorst)

When I woke up this morning, my allergies were making my nose run and my eyes water.

It was humid outside again and the only work pants I had clean were long pants.

I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

That's what it was, because when I was walking to my car with my breakfast in my hand, my peanut butter waffle fell peanut butter side down.

As soon as I started my car, my gas light went on.

I knew it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

We had a fire drill in the rain. Then we had a second fire drill later because the first one was so bad.

My students were wild things.

I had yard duty, and I HATE yard duty.

When I got home from work, I had a letter saying that the red light camera caught me and I owe $100.

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Some days are like that.

... But, in all honestly, it wasn't so bad. After work we had a faculty wine and cheese party to celebrate a successful first month of school. I can't believe it's going to be October already! And I already have pretty much every weekend booked. I love fall and fall parties and fall activities! Yay fall!

For those of you who haven't heard, I'm moving out. Finally. My goal in life was to be out of my parents' house before I was 30... and by some miracle, it actually happened! Sam and I started going apartment hunting a few weeks ago and after much newspaper searching, many phone calls, and a few frightening visits, we found a really nice twin duplex about ten minutes from both of our parents' houses. It's got a lot of space (but not a lot of closet space...), it's in a quiet neighborhood, and the price is decent.

Tomorrow is moving day... yay! We both have plenty of furniture for our own bedrooms, and our moms have supplied us with plenty of things for the kitchen. But the living room will be quite bare. I'm bringing my brother's futon for a sofa, and we're borrowing my parents' card table and folding chairs for the dining room, until we get a real table. But as of tomorrow... it's home! Let the adventure begin.

Back to School

Well, it's almost the end of September already. I've only had my kids for eleven days. Eleven days doesn't sound like long at all, but apparently it was enough time to catch a cold from one of the little buggers. Not sure which one, but I'm sure they all had germs that contributed to this illness. It's of the runny nose, raw throat, coughing, sneezing, headache variety. (Basically all the symptoms covered on the NyQuil bottle.) It's not so bad that I have to call out of work, though. If I worked an office job or something like that, I would have called out. But it's just not worth the trouble of writing lesson plans for a sub. It's easier to go in and suffer quietly while trying to control a class of 22 energetic six year olds. They're cute kids, though. And smart, so far. No complaints yet.

Anyway. In other news, my new obsession is a little show called "Heroes." I wanted to watch it when it started last season, but I missed the first few episodes and I never had the time to get invested in yet another show. ("Lost" was and still is my TV watching obsession of choice, and it requires diligent viewing to keep up with the storyline.) So Erin and Mike got season one of "Heroes" on DVD and kept talking about how good it was. They burned me a copy and gave it to me at the autism walk... which gave me about two weeks to watch 23 hour-long episodes before the season two premiere. Season two starts on Monday, and right now I'm watching episode 17. I knew it was a good show, but I didn't think I'd get hooked like this. I can't stop watching it. I just hope I can finish the rest of the season before Monday. Good stuff.

Okay, time for another dose of DayQuil.

not myself

I'm not feeling like myself today. I don't know why. I had a pretty good weekend. Didn't get a lot of sleep Friday night (2 hours, to be exact), but I got plenty of sleep last night. I saw my friends all weekend. The apartment hunt is going very well. Work is good. Family is fine. Weather is finally feeling like autumn. But I'm off somehow.

I can't put my finger on what it is that's wrong with me. It's nothing physical. Could be emotional, but I can't say that there's any one thing that's bothering me that much. Nothing seems to be wrong. (Or more accurately, to quote Elliott Smith, "There's nothing wrong that wasn't wrong before.")

Lately I've just felt like I want to surround myself with people. Usually when I'm like this, I feel like being alone to wallow in self-pity. But I've been accepting invitations left and right to parties, get togethers, and the like... and I've been seeking people out for conversation, drinks, and whatever else they're up for. However, there's a small part of me that wants to burrow under the covers and ignore the world. Doesn't make sense.

And now I feel ridiculous for blogging about it. I actually considered deleting this blog instead of posting it, but I stopped myself. This has become like my diary (without all the steamy parts, lol), and I enjoy the feedback. Although I don't know what feedback can be given now, since I don't even know why I'm so out of it.

Eh. I don't know what my deal is. Whatever it is, I'm sure it'll pass. But in the meantime, it sucks.

happiness is...

The weather is cool again! The air conditioner is finally turned off! The windows are open!!!

Is there anything better than lying in bed with the windows wide open and the crisp fall air blowing in? I used to drive my roommates nuts in college. It could be the dead of winter and I'd have the windows open. I just LOVE being all snuggled under the covers and feeling the breeze.

Add it to my list of random things that make me very, very happy.

It’s true... size DOES matter.

Today Sam and I went to look at a duplex. Everything about it was decent, except for one thing: one bedroom was significantly smaller than the other. I had also noticed this alarming trend while searching online for apartments. It seems that one bedroom is the "master bedroom," and the other is intended for either a child's room or for a home office space. It didn't appear that any place (at least any place that I found) catered to two single people who want to share an apartment. I simply can NOT afford to live on my own, thanks to the Archdiocese and their meager pay scale.... which is another blog for another time... but those of you who know me are aware that my salary - even with the increase for my masters degree - is pretty much enough to qualify me for food stamps. In fact, I have friends who don't have their masters, who are making the same or slightly less than me. Depressing. Anyway, I can't afford to live on my own, and I don't mind having a roommate at all. But I'm starting to worry that when we find a place, one of us is going to have to settle for the smaller of the two rooms. (And while we're on that subject... how in God's name do you decide who gets which room? Talk about a hairy situation.)

To make matters worse (and this is a personal issue), the young man who showed us the duplex had gone to high school with us... graduated in '99, which makes him four years younger than me. He and his wife recently moved because she's expecting their THIRD child. Lovely. So while I'm just getting around to moving out of my parents' house, people four years younger than me are having more kids than I'll ever have (at the rate I'm going, anyway).

Sorry for all the bitching, but I'm just feeling frustrated with a lot of things, and I needed to vent. Every now and then I feel like my life is right on track, until I have an exceptionally hormonally imbalanced day (such as today) to make me want to drown my sorrows in vodka.

Does anyone know if all two bedroom apartments have a similar bedroom situation? Does anyone have a reasonable solution for it? Does anyone want to take me out for some shots? (Hey, I figured it was worth a try.)

(And my apologies to Sam, for blogging about something that also concerns her!)

reading

I read several teacher blogs, and in one of them, I saw this:

There was a widely bruited-about statistic reported last week, stating that 1 in 4 Americans did not read a single book last year. Do you have friends/family who read as much as you do? Or are you the only person you know who has a serious reading habit?

I thought this was a seriously depressing statistic, and I didn't believe it was true. So I searched online and lo and behold, I found the article. Amazing.

It made me think about my own history of reading. Everyone who knows me knows how important reading is to me. I'm a teacher - a first grade teacher who is responsible for teaching children how to read. And I went to grad school to learn how to teach reading. And sometime in the near future, I hope to be employed as a reading specialist who does nothing BUT teach reading. But career aside, I have always been a reader. My parents read to me and Doug from birth. I can't remember a night in my childhood that didn't end with a bedtime story... either read by my parents, or when I got older, read by myself. I remember trips to the library, not just during the school year, but in the summer as well. I had shelves full of books in my bedroom. Series books, like Sweet Valley High and Babysitter's Club... young adult books, by authors like Judy Blume and Lois Duncan. And I still have the copy of Goodnight Moon that I read as a child. That one has a place of honor in my classroom, where it waits to be shared with yet another group of first graders.

But this quote also made me think about the people in my circle of friends. I know that many of my friends read. Several of my friends are even in a book club. However, I'm curious about the rest of you. Do you read? What do you read? Magazines, newspapers, books, online journals? Why do you read? For fun, for work, for school? And if you don't read for fun, what is the reason for that? Is it because you don't like to read? Because you don't have time to read? Because you prefer other forms of entertainment (i.e. movies, TV, internet)? Was reading important to your family? Did you have good models of reading in your home? How many books have you read so far this year?

I'm genuinely curious about this. I'd love any feedback you can offer on this topic. Please... comment away!

Another poet

About a week ago, I wrote a post singing the praises of my favorite poet, Dorothy Parker. I was listening to my mp3 player today, and it occured to me that Fiona Apple just might be Ms. Parker's modern day equivalent. I've always found Fiona's music to be both poignant and bitter... perfect for when I was in college and everything was drama with a capital D. Although the music itself is very good, it's her lyrics that have always hit home with me. Here are some of my favorite Fiona lyrics for your enjoyment.

"You say love is a hell you cannot bear,
And I say gimme mine back and then go there for all I care."
(Sleep to Dream)

"What a cunning way to condescend:
Once my lover, and now my friend."
(Shadowboxer)

"You'll say you'd never let me fall from hopes so high,
But never is a promise and you can't afford to lie."
(Never is a Promise)

"And all I want is to save you, honey
Or the strength to walk away."
(Carrion)

"I would've warned you, but really, what's the point?
Caution could but rarely ever helps."
(To Your Love)

"You fondle my trigger, then you blame my gun."
(Limp)

"I want your warm, but it will only make me colder when it's over.
So I can't tonight, baby.
No, not "baby" anymore,
If I need you, I'll just use your simple name.
Only kisses on the cheek from now on,
And in a little while, we'll only have to wave."
(Love Ridden)

"Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills,
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up."
(Paper Bag)

"I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy."
(Paper Bag)

"Now every other man I see
Reminds me of the
One man who disappointed me."
(Get Him Back)

"I am likely to miss the main event
If I stop to cry or complain again.
So I will keep a deliberate pace,
Let the damned breeze dry my face."
(Better Version of Me)

"I'm either so sick in the head
I need to be bled dry to quit
Or I just really used to love him,
I sure hope that's it."
(Tymps)

"The signs said 'stop'
But we went on whole-hearted
It ended bad
But I love what we started."
(Parting Gift)

"I try to talk sense to myself
But I just won't listen."
(Oh Well)

"What wasted unconditional love
On somebody who doesn't believe in the stuff."
(Oh Well)

If you're interested in checking out any of Fiona's songs for yourself, I highly recommend listening to the following tunes: Never is a Promise, Love Ridden, Get Gone, I Know, Tymps, Parting Gift, Oh Well. If you decide to give any of them a listen, let me know what you thought!