Friendship

This blog post will be written in conjunction with my friend Joe, who also hosts a blog. We decided that it would be fun (?) if we each wrote a post on the same subject (which would no doubt result in two differing points of view) and then link each other's blog in a shameless plug for more readers and/or comments. Or maybe that's just me. 


When I was 7, I had a Best Friend. We played with our Barbie dolls, we walked home from school together, we went to each other's birthday parties. We were sure we'd be Best Friends FOREVER. After all, who else would ever know me as well as she did?
   
What I didn't realize was that one day, we'd grow out of Barbie and My Little Pony... and there wouldn't be another common bond to take its place. So, my Best Friend and I inevitably grew apart, and my next BFF was someone who shared my newfound love of New Kids on the Block, stone-washed jeans, and makeup. That friendship lasted through 7th and 8th grade, but fell apart in our freshman year of high school. The much-coveted title of Best Friend was bestowed upon many other people as the years went on. 
   
Some of the friendships we had in childhood may have been fleeting, but they were by no means trivial. Everyone needs friends. I truly believe that friendship is an essential component to living a happy, healthy life. When I look at all the people I've called "friend" over the years, I've noticed that they can be grouped in several categories, all of which serve their own purpose in my life.


Work
I have co-workers, but I've also been lucky enough to have "work friends." Those are the people I bond with over lunch and watercooler gossip. Research actually shows that people who have a best friend at work are 7 times more likely to feel engaged in their job. And it makes sense. If there is someone at work that I enjoy talking to, then I look forward to going every day and I'm happy when I'm there... so it follows that I'll be a more productive worker.

In my current work environment, I'm friendly with all of my co-workers, but there are some I gravitate to more than others. We started this job last September as strangers, but I've noticed how our personal lives have started to trickle into our professional setting. We know the names of each others' spouses and children. We ask about family events. We email and text each other about everyday stuff as well as work issues. The only time we see each other during the week is at the office on Friday (we're at different schools during the week), and we all agree that we look forward to it all week. Just like the research says - we're happy and we're productive.


The Social Circle
In high school, I became part of a social circle for the first time. We were all involved in the chorus and the drama club, so we spent a lot of time together. I didn't have a close relationship with all of the people in the group, but there were no shortage of people to talk to at parties or pass notes to in the hallway. I was a painfully shy child in grade school. Being part of that group in high school was a life-changing experience. I felt a sense of belonging that I had never known before, which improved my self confidence greatly.

Over time, that group grew and changed and eventually dissolved. Thanks to Facebook, I've managed to reconnect with several people in that group, which has led to party invitations, book club meetings, and Girls' Nights Out. I don't consider all of these people "best friends," but they're fun to hang out with and they keep my social calendar filled. 


Best Friend
When I taught first grade, there were girls in my class who had a different "best friend" each week. That's typical of kids... but as we grow up, we start to take the title of "best friend" more seriously. For me, it's no longer about who lives on my street or who shares their dolls with me. As an adult, I see the role of a best friend in a different light. My best friend is my constant cheerleader. She offers support and advice, lets me vent when I need to, gets excited for my successes, and is trusted with my secrets. And I do the same for her. There's a saying that "friends are the family we choose for ourselves." That's SO true. When I think of all of the things that have happened in my life - both good and bad - my best friend is the first person I call, after my parents. 
  
The best part about our friendship is that it has lasted so long. We met freshman year of high school and then went through an 8 year hiatus two years after graduation (caused by college, life changes, and a falling out among mutual friends). When we reconnected, we still had the bond that had made us friends in the first place. But because we had both matured over the years, we are now able to relate in a new way. (Case in point - the whole time I have been typing this, she and I have been texting each other about recipes, family drama, and what we did today.)
  
Good friends are not just important, they are VITAL. I don't need science or research to tell me that. And while it's true that some friendships don't last forever, I still keep in touch with friends from grade school, high school, college, and every job I've had. It takes some time and energy to maintain those friendships, but in my opinion it is 100% worth it.

Things are never quite as scary 

when you have a best friend. 

(Bill Watterson)

Read Joe's blog post about friendship here!