Pondering

On Saturday night, I ventured out to Knights Tavern (my neighborhood dive bar) to see Karen's boyfriend Chris play with his old band. Since it was just Knights Tavern, I wore a cute, but non-slutty t-shirt with jeans and flip-flops. At one point in the evening, I was trying to get the bartender's attention to buy another beer... with no luck. Karen made a comment along the lines of, "It's a shame you're not wearing a cleavage shirt." I replied with, "Well, it's a dive bar, I figured I'd just go with the jeans and t-shirt." Dooner overheard this and said, "It doesn't matter." What? Clothes not matter?? I questioned him further, but his answer remained the same. He claimed that men don't notice hair, make-up, clothes or shoes. Revolutionary.

But I wasn't convinced. When Rich arrived later, I asked him: "Do men notice clothes and make-up?" His answer? "Yes. But only if it's bad."

Is this true? Do men not notice the effort we put into going out? Even though I didn't get "dressed up," I still chose my clothes carefully. I straightened my hair and put on make-up and perfume. So if men don't care about that, then why do we bother?
Sure, I feel better about myself when I look good. I wouldn't feel attractive at all if I went out without make-up, or with frizzy hair, or with sloppy sweats.

Interesting. Very interesting.

So theoretically, I could go into a bar wearing sweats and no make-up and still catch a guy's attention. Theoretically. However, if all the other women in the bar were wearing nicer (or more revealing) clothes and make-up and accessories, they would look better than me. It's all about comparison. Men might not notice a woman's effort unless he had someone else's lack of effort to compare it to.

To take it a step further... women feel more confident about themselves when they think they look good, so maybe that's what men notice. Their confidence. But even when I make an effort, I still don't think I look as good as some of the other women in the bar... and I don't feel the same degree of confidence that they do... so men probably pick up on that vibe, which is why I don't get hit on in bars.

Whew. I feel like I just had a breakthrough.

So now I guess my new question is... how do I feel more confident about myself? I shouldn't need the validation of men (or women) to feel good about myself. Maybe that's been my problem all along. I'm too worried about what other people think of me.

I think my most attractive and desirable qualities are the ones you can't see... like my creativity, my talents, my intelligence, my sense of humor, my compassion. How do I get someone to notice those non-visual traits?

Let me clarify something. I don't think I'm going to meet my husband - or even a boyfriend - in a bar. I'm just trying to figure out why some women get more attention than others, especially if men claim not to notice things like clothing.

So, dear readers... Comment away. I'd be interested to hear what men and women alike think about this subject.

Home sweet home

I'm home.

After a 1 hour bus ride from Buderim to Brisbane, a 12 hour flight from Brisbane to Los Angeles, a 5 hour flight from Los Angeles to New York, a 2 hour bus ride from New York to Penn Charter School and a 45 minute car ride back to the Northeast, I am finally home.

I have no idea how many hours I've been awake... I woke up at 4:30 AM on Sunday in Brisbane, and it's now 2:08 AM on Monday in Philly. Which means it's 4:08 PM on Monday in Brisbane. And aside from tiny cat naps here and there on the flights and drives, I haven't slept at all. So if my math serves, I think I've been awake close to 36 hours.

And now I'm going to bed. (Pics are coming soon.)

Bundaberg!

Well, this is officially the last leg of the trip. I'm in Bundaberg now. After Sydney, we took a bus to Bathurst (quaint, sleepy little town). Everyone stayed with a "billet," including the chaperones. I stayed with a great couple and their 17 year old son (she had two older boys who live elsewhere... damnit...). They had two dogs, a blue tongued lizard, twelve chickens and several birds. She was an amazing cook... I had fresh eggs for breakfast, laid by her own chickens the day before. Can't beat that! The boys' performance in Bathurst was their best so far. It was in a small church... but the people who were hosting us put up fliers and talked us up on the radio, so the church was packed. They said it was amazing to see so many people out on a Monday night in the middle of winter. And our boys knocked their socks off. It was awesome.

From Bathurst, we took a bus back to Sydney, where we flew to Brisbane. We stayed there for two nights and then today we took the bus to Bundaberg. Bundaberg is famous for its sugar products, especially rum. I'm going to try to bring a bottle home so I can see if it's as good as everyone says it is.

Tomorrow we're headed for Lady Musgrave Island, in the Great Barrier Reef. We're taking a ride on a glass-bottom boat and then the boys are going snorkeling. I don't think I'm going to snorkel. I'm still getting over a head cold, and it's in the coughing stage now. But I'm sure the boat will be amazing.

Three more nights in Australia, and then I'm heading back to the States! I'll miss Australia... and the boys... but I can't wait to get home. I'll talk to everyone soon!

Still in Sydney

I'm still enamored with Australia... and with the delightful boys that I'm chaperoning... and with the immensely talented choir as a whole. But my feet are really hurting me. I have blisters in multiple places and my feet are sore from walking everywhere. I'm starting to seriously dislike my sneakers. I miss the rest of my shoes. In fact, I miss going barefoot. Can't really do that here, since it's winter and it's just a tad too chilly for bare feet.

I also have a minor head cold. It's slowly making its way around the choir. It started with a sore throat in Uluru and then I got congested somewhere between Uluru and Sydney. My left ear is blocked and my nose is running and I've got a small cough. Nothing serious, but it's enough to make me slightly uncomfortable.

Tomorrow we're leaving Sydney (so soon???) and taking a four hour bus trip to Bathhurst, where we'll spend one night. I've heard that everyone is being "billeted," including the chaperones, which means I'll be staying with an Australian family.
The boys I chaperone are all with their billet families now, and the older boys are enjoying a night out. I'm meeting the other chaperones for dinner in about 15 minutes, so I figured I'd kill time on the computer.

Not sure when I'll be able to write again... but I'll be home exactly one week from today!

Blogging from Sydney

Grrr... I just wrote a blog, and then I accidentally deleted it. I also wrote a blog from Perth, but it's not showing up. The house I was staying in used a dial-up modem, so that might have something to do with it. So here are the highlights of the Perth blog and the blog I just erased:

Perth (3 nights): Lots of fun. Stayed with a music teacher/artist named Helen... she was 53 and had long rainbow colored hair. Pics to follow when I get home.

Adelaide (2 nights): Cute little city. Stayed in a hostel. Went to Cleland Park and fed kangaroos! Took lots of pics.

Uluru (1 night): Camped out in little tiny cabins with the four boys I'm chaperoning. Saw amazing night sky, including Southern Cross, Milky Way, Saturn, Venus. Saw sunrise and sunset at Uluru-Ayers Rock. Learned about Aboriginal culture from real Aboriginal men.

Sydney (just arrived today): Walked to the harbour and took a ferry ride. Saw the famous Sydney Opera House. (WOW.)

The tour is now more than half over, which means I'll be home in about 8 or 9 days. I'm SO GLAD I decided to do this. I'm having an absolutely incredible time. I do miss home, but I haven't really been homesick. Thank God for the internet.

Hope everything is going well in the States! Happy birthday to Sammie and Joe! Sorry I can't be there to celebrate with you guys!

Perth

Just a quick blog. I'm in Perth and this time I'm not staying in a hostel. I'm being "billeted" with a music teacher who is wonderfully eccentric (I'll post pics after I get back home). I'll be in Perth until Tuesday, and then we fly to Adelaide. I had hoped to write emails to some people, but the house only has dial-up internet connection (does such a thing still exist???). But as they say here in Oz... "No worries!" I'll get to emails and such in Adelaide, provided the hostel has internet access.

Oh, and by the way... I'm in fucking Australia. Holy shit. (As you can tell, it's still sinking in...)

Leaving Melbourne

Hello friends!

It's our last night in Melbourne. Tomorrow morning/afternoon we fly to Perth. I think there's actually a time change from Melbourne to Perth, which kinda sucks. I just got my body used to the 14 hour time change from Philly to Melbourne. And I'm still having trouble keeping track of the date. Ugh.

It's been a busy couple of days. We haven't done much in the way of sight-seeing, because the boys had a lot of rehearsals and then a performance tonight. Most nights I'm asleep by 10 (or earlier). Right now it's 11:49 PM, which is rather late for me... but I just got in from the boys' concert about 20 minutes ago, and we get to sleep in a bit later tomorrow. I'm looking forward to that immensely.

In spite of the busy schedule, I'm having a great time. I've had time to get to know the boys in the choir as well as the other chaps. I've had a chance to explore downtown Melbourne, which is a very cool city. And I've gotten more exercise than I've had in a long time... we walk everywhere!

Still haven't seen any kangaroos or koalas. We'll be visiting the Australia zoo later in the tour, and I'm told I'll see plenty of cool animals there. But I have had a chance to meet some wonderful people here. They've offered lots of suggestions for things I should see or do or taste (!!!) while I'm here. One of those things is vegemite. For those of you not in the know, vegemite is a spread made from yeast. It's black and apparently very salty. I don't think I'll be trying it, but I will bring some samples home if anyone's interested.

Okay, I think it's time for bed. My eyes are getting bleary. I'll write more when I get to Perth!

Greetings from Melbourne!

Happy 4th of July, everyone! It's 9:54 PM on Wednesday night... but I think it's about 7:54 AM Wednesday morning in Philly. Crazy.

The choir arrived in Melbourne safe and sound yesterday. We had a 3 hour bus ride from Philly to NY, then our flight was delayed 4 hours. It was a 5 hour flight from NY to Los Angeles, which was immediately followed by a 14 hour flight from LA to Melbourne. We left Philly on July 1st but got here on July 3rd, because we crossed the international date line. Needless to say, we all had some serious jet lag yesterday. I was asleep by 9:30 PM last night. Feeling much better today, after a shower, some clean clothes, real food (the airline food wasn't fabulous...) and a solid 8 hours of sleep.

Downtown Melbourne is a lot like Center City... there's a 7-Eleven on every corner! The only real difference is that people drive on the other side of the street and speak with accents. They really do say "g'day" and call everyone "mate." I thought that was all "Crocodile Dundee" stereotyping. Go figure. We're leaving Melbourne in two days and flying to Perth, which is clear across the country. The chaperones are staying in hostels in almost every city we visit, so hopefully I'll have internet access for most of the trip. I'll try to post more in a few days.

Hope everyone enjoyed the holiday! Have some good old American burgers for me!!!